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In Sickness and In Health by David Hawkins

During his more than 30 years of counseling, Dr. David Hawkins has witnessed many patients who describe to him intense physical ailments—from weight loss or gain, to elevated blood pressure, to the development of autoimmune disorders—all stemming from a common problem: the stress of living in a marriage that has become toxic.

In his latest book, In Sickness and In Health: The Physical Consequences of Emotional Stress in Marriage, Dr. Hawkins, explores with his two sons—an internist and a surgeon, the effects relational stress and trauma can have on our bodies.

“When stress hormones get out of whack, signaling the brain there is lurking danger, we either change our world and cope effectively,” says Dr. Hawkins, “or experience debilitating health problems.”


Often, he sees that patients tend to live in the second category of debilitating health problems. This usually occurs because they do not fully recognize their marriage is causing them stress, or because they are embarrassed to admit something as seemingly trivial as stress has resulted in such intense physical pain. Dr. Hawkins has found that it can be a struggle for these individuals to move forward in freeing themselves from the stress that is ailing them.

In Sickness and in Health helps readers to recognize the physical manifestations of their stress and provides ways to free themselves from a life in this state. “You may wonder, So what? How is this book any different from hundreds of others on the topic? The difference,” Dr. Hawkins says, “is that we focus on how your relationships may be making you sick—literally—and what you can do about that.”

Join Dr. Hawkins and his two sons, both medical doctors, as they explore the effects relational stress and trauma can have on our bodies. Readers will learn to recognize:
  • The connection between the mind and the body
  • The connection between an unhealthy marriage and an unhealthy body
  • Feelings of exhaustion and being “emotionally hungover”
  • The negative effects (as well as the benefits of) anger
  • How to take responsibility for your health
  • How to heal from the damages that have been done to you

No matter what kind of pain a person is experiencing, or how long your health has been in decline, they don’t have to stay stuck. Discover the hope and healing that comes with taking control of life.

About the Author:
With more than 30 years of counseling experience, David Hawkins, PhD, has a special interest in helping individuals and couples strengthen their relationships. Dr. Hawkins’ books, including When Loving Him is Hurting You: Hope and Healing for Victims of Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse and Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life, have more than 350,000 copies in print.

My Thoughts:
Reading this book was a little difficult for me, because it triggered a lot of emotional symptoms. I had to read slowly and take breaks. However, I felt like there was quite a bit of great information here for those who have struggled in challenging relationships, stressful marriages, and are looking for healing. 

Dr Hawkins addresses the physical symptoms that stem from emotional issues, which I have seen happen often, at times with myself, very commonly with others. Stress can take a toll on our health, and relationship stress is a very difficult issue to know how to deal with especially if it's in your marriage. 

Dr Hawkins helps you see the steps you need to take to begin healing emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Although he does't necessarily advocate divorce, he does advocate that at times a separation is necessary for the hard work of healing to begin and that occasionally distance from the person causing the relationship stress is necessary. I didn't feel like the book was overtly "preachy", and at times I would have liked to have seen more Scripture guidance throughout the book to support the author's suggestions and ideas. However, overall, I felt like it was a very educational book, that was beneficial in pointing out triggers, reactions, bad coping skills, how our emotions can lead to physical illness, and how to begin dealing with it so we can become whole healthy people again. I would love to have had the opportunity to sit down in a few sessions with Dr. Hawkins and get his help and advice with things that I've had to deal with in my life, and see what his advice would be. 

I would recommend this book. I received this book from Harvest House Publishers but was not required to write a positive review. All opinions are my own.

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